Rejoice

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Ps 118:24

As I watched the snow falling swiftly out the window over the kitchen sink my heart sank, tomorrow is supposed to be the first day of spring. I'm tired of snow, tired of cold, tired of... before I even completed my silent rant I laughed inwardly and shook my head. Were it October, or November, the very same sight would delight me and set my mind off to thoughts of cozy sweaters, cute new boots and sled hills, warm drinks and snuggling under my favorite blanket. But a few months later and I've grown weary of the sweaters, longing for sandals and bare toes, going outside without spending precious time bundling up against the cold, the ever present, bone chilling cold. I'm tired, so very tired, of being cold. Just as, not so very long ago, I was tired, so very tired, of being hot. With that inner laugh that interrupted my rant came the thought- where is the "content in all things," where is your peace? (Phil. 4:11)
How sad that the very things I had longed for had become things I was beginning to hate, simply because I was wanting something else. How very, very sad that this same thinking occurs over many more precious things than the weather. That first, small thought became a flood of realization; how often in life have I lost the joy over something I longed for simply because something else had caught my eye? Images began swirling through my mind- the house I complain of being too messy, too small, how thrilled I was to move in here from our apartment! What excitement we shared while spreading out into all its rooms and making them our own. What relief there was in finally being able to send the kids out into the yard to play! The kids, the children that run me ragged and make SO. MUCH. NOISE. I dreamed of and longed for them for as long as I can remember, all I ever wanted to be was their Mom. Yet I see now that I've allowed a longing for peace and quiet and more than five minutes of clean to begin stealing my joy over them.
So now I step back. I apologize to God for taking these things for granted and thank Him for these precious, precious gifts. New thoughts begin to fill my mind. Thoughts of Someday. Someday we will move into a bigger house, a house of our very own. And while we thrill over all the joys and excitement that will bring, I know I will shed some tears over leaving this dear place that we have treasured as our home, and I resolve to be thankful to be here Today. Someday, my children will be grown and at least slightly quieter than they are now. Someday I'll have to find something else to do besides trail through the house gathering tiny socks and trails of Hot Wheels and Barbie shoes. Someday I'll long for their tiny little hands in mine and their downy heads beneath my cheek and their laughter and shrieks echoing off the walls, and I resolve to cherish the mess and the noise while it lasts. Someday, someday very soon, spring will come. I will revel in the riot of color that springs from the ground and the soft warm breeze upon my skin. I will dance in the sunshine and wriggle bare, happy toes in the tender green grass. But today, today I will rejoice in the crisp white flakes dancing from the sky and find peace in the snow globe scene out my window, for all too soon, or not soon enough, or in just the right time, it too shall pass.
Today, TODAY I will rejoice.